It was a cold and miserable Saturday night when NSF burst into my room bearing excellent news.
I’ll admit I’ve been keeping this corker under my hat for a good while.
Let’s all agree on something right now. January is the worst month of the year.
Coming from someone who LOVES new years eve more than anything (see my sermon on why NYE gets an unfairly bad rep here) January feels like a long slogging hangover of shiteness. Kylie Jenner may have thought 2016 was all about ‘realising stuff’ (so deep babes) but I believe that is January’s role each and every year.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.
DUNNN NAA…… DUNNN NAA…. DUN NA DUN NA DUN NA DUN NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(for those of you who don’t know I’m clearly bringing to life the jaws theme music through the medium of the written word. Obvi)
If you’ve read at least one of my blogs or met me for at least 5 minutes you’re probably aware that sophistication and I do not go hand in hand.
Firstly, I think it’s basically impossible to exude an air of sophistication when you have hair that looks like an actual lion and you have a penchant for dressing like a mad person. Hello floor length lace dress with denim jacket covered in TASSLES. What’s not to love about this combo?!
Secondly I’m sort of…oh what’s the technical terms for when you love drinking all of the pink wine and climbing on things on a night out… oh yes…a massive show-off.
It is the truth universally acknowledged that Londoners spend most of their time thinking about/complaining about/evaluating the merits and potential pitfalls of THE WEATHER.
If you’re anything like me you will spend January through to March on a rotation of phrases including but not limited to ‘God it’s PARKY out there isn’t it’, ‘urgh this makes me never want to go outside’, ‘I can’t wait for summer’ and ‘Go on then I will have another minced pie/mulled wine/doughnut/three course meal – not like I’ll be getting my body out any time soon is it!’*
I think I speak for most single girls when I say that sometimes, it’s tough out there.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s mostly brill. Having spent a long time in a relationship (albeit with a lovely lovely person) that left me feeling like I was wearing a really hot, really tight jumper in a humid jungle of PURE PANIC (ahem or ya know, something a little less dramatic than that) I can tell you that there is nothing worse than being in a relationship for the sake of being in one. Continue reading “How to flirt with strangers”
I woke bright and breezy the other morning (full of cold and residual dregs of 2 day hangover) to the following texts to our borderline alcoholic whatsapp group from my dear friend T who recently departed for a much more fun life overseas.
‘Right who’s awake first?! I got fucked up last night and need consoling’
Leaving a job for pastures new is often fraught with complications and general bits of awkwardness.
If you’re wondering how to navigate the socially awkward waters of your leaving drinks with grace and poise then you should definitely read on. Continue reading “How to have the perfect leaving drinks”