WISE THINGS MY FRIENDS SAY

My friends are a wise bunch of borderline alcoholics and god knows I love each and every one of them.

So I’ve selected some of their pearls of wisdom to share with all of you. May you grow from their insight and flourish under their instruction.

NB: I’ve re-imagined these nuggets (unfortunate choice of word considering my first pearl of wisdom) as some of those inspirational (i.e. wanky) posts from Instagram. Because nothing sorts out life’s problems like a meaningless quote layered over a stock image of a bike with flowers in the basket.

ENJOY

I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him (1)

I can confirm they are 100% not.

I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him (2)I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him (3)Have I fuck (1)Have I fuckWhen you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinder (2)When you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinderYou know who is a bitch, and who I do hate- Miss MarpleWhen you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinder (3)

I forced him to walk me to the station and then I LUNCHED him

She meant lunged. Does it make it better? I can’t decide.

When you shiver it means a boy has swiped left on you on tinder (1)

Again wrong word – she meant neurotic. We did not correct her.

I'm not sorryI'll never be sorrytake a walk (1)I can't find the dancing girl emojj. I reckon she's fucked off to Bali. That's where everyone goestake a walk

Share:

1 Comment

Leave a Reply